What are your discussion points?

A small story to share with you.... I hope perhaps you also might have noticed the same, what we have also noticed and called for a change.

It would take a lot of time to alter the discussion subject from small talk to deeper discussion.

Most of the time when we used to discuss ( One to one or One to Many with peers), we used to discuss about the people!! We used to feel good after that!! 

Slowly we recognized it is not much value add to our time to discuss about the people and their opinions.

Eleanor Roosevelt was an American politician, diplomat, and activist. She served as First Lady of the United States longer than any other presidential spouse, from 1933 to 1945 during her husband’s (Franklin D. Roosevelt) time in the White House. Among her many quotable notes, this is one which influenced us a lot:

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Based on this remark, we decided to let us shift our discussion topics to original ideas and the prospect of establishing something unusual.

But because of the habit we unknowingly most of the time come back to the same theme of small talk about the people!

We created an agreement, whoever notice that we are back to criticism, we require to point out ourselves to bring back our topics to constructive discussion.

Some extent of people’s conversation is Ok and form the place light. but when we are expressing awfully much, someone has to raise an alert.

After that, our discussion points provoked us to look at a fresh idea. We had many quality discussions which leads us to grow into a better coach.

We discuss about coaching challenges and how can we deal with those better etc topics.

We have started guiding others for such an exchange. 

Dismissing small talk as trivial is easy, but we can’t forget that deep relationships wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for casual conversation. Small talk is the grease for social interaction, says Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. “Every great romance and each big business deal begins with small talk,” he explains. “The key to successful small talk is learning how to connect with others, not just communicate with them.” According to Carducci, exploring common ground in conversation-even about something as trivial as the weather or the long lineup-works toward forging bonds between humans.

A few years ago, Prof. Matthias Mehl — at the University of Arizona in Tucson — and team conducted a study.

That study asked whether we should strive to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with others to improve our own well-being.

At that point, their findings appeared to suggest not only that substantive conversations make us happier but also that indulging in too much small talk could damage our well-being.

“Higher well-being,” the authors wrote, “was associated with having less small talk, and more substantive conversation.” They add that the participants who reported being the happiest spent little time on superficial chit-chats, preferring to engage in more meaningful exchanges.

All these points allow us to stay relevant in our discussion and coach others also to practice all these discussion topics. All our "Chai pe charcha" topics are more constructive now. Lots of ideas comes from such discussion, Give it a try!!